Together in the Chaoss: A Powerful Message from One of Our Own

One of our amazing members, Toni, recently shared a deeply moving message we couldn’t wait to pass along. Her words are raw and real, capturing the struggles many of us face daily. Here’s what she had to say: 

The Raw Reality 

“From one SEN mumma to all others, I want it known that this wonderful site is my getaway from drama, stresses, dirty nappies, screeching, appointments, hospital trips, operations, tantrums, dancing, full volume on the T.V, eating off the floor, s**t-smeared walls, broken windows, broken furniture, flooded floors, handprint walls, bruised bodies, more appointments, more hospital trips, people’s remarks, staring, living indoors, headaches, and lack of sleep… I could go on and on and on.”

Her words are so real and so raw. They capture the struggles that many of us face every single day. It’s a reality many parents of children with special educational needs know all too well. But despite all of these challenges, the Chaoss community has become a safe haven—a place to escape, connect, and find comfort. 

Facing the Heavy Burden 

Toni also shared, “My son was diagnosed with severe autism, I mean the most severe—it’s right up there—and now his 3-year-old brother is expected to have the same non-verbal/speaking condition.” 

These are the heavy realities many parents in our community know all too well. Toni reflects on the constant worry we all carry: “Will they ever live alone? Will they have their own freedom, houses, partners, and live a ‘normal’ life?” 

And then there’s the fear that grips us all—what would happen if something were to happen to us as parents? What would become of them? 

A Place of Comfort Amidst Struggles 

Yet, even with all these overwhelming thoughts, Toni—and many others—find comfort in this community. It’s a reminder that there is still joy and connection to be found, even in the hardest times. She shared, “Even if it’s just 5 minutes here and there, this space reminds me that I’m still me.” 

Toni also mentioned, “I gave up my business and am now totally isolated from the outside to care for my children.” The sacrifices are huge, and the dedication it takes to care for children with additional needs is immense. But her closing words remind us of the real impact we make as a community: “Every win pays for equipment they need and debts that have occurred looking after their needs… which is a bloody lot.” 

The True Value of Our Community 

Moments like this show us the true value of what our community offers. Every win, every connection, and every small moment of joy helps ease the burdens we carry as parents and carers. 

“Thank you, Shana [our founder], for bringing us SEN mummas together to see we are NOT alone,” Toni adds.

To all the mums, dads, and carers out there who are part of this journey, we want you to know how much we appreciate you. Your strength, resilience, and courage inspire us every day. Thank you for being part of this community. We’re here for you, every step of the way. 

We’d love to hear about your Chaotic journey! If you’d like to share your story with us, please reach out by emailing contact@chaotic.co.uk.